Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and it takes a lot of effort to conjure up people and events out of nothing. None of the characters are real, and all references to apparently real-life events are intentionally coincidental. Please do not expect any apologies for insults to the fictional characters.
Once upon a time, there was a city made up of seven islands in the south of the largest continent of a fictional planet. The city was home to a lot of (fictional) people from all over the fictional world. Cutting the long story short, the fictional world was caught in a mass-masking epidemic which was curiously called Swine Flew. Someone had finally made pigs fly, which although clichéd, appeared novel to the resident villagers of the city.
There was a right-wing localist political party in that city, who took up the common citizen’s cause against Swine Flew. The flamboyant leader, who was himself nearing a century of an age, made public appearances claiming that the city was located on the eastern part of the fictional planet, and that he would not tolerate any influence from any other part of the planet (fictional, of course – the planet, not the influence) on the villagers living in that city. Among these influences from the west figured the flying-pigs-disease quite prominently, that the villagers of the city were catching like a fire. The flamboyant leader therefore, banned people from catching pigs-who-fly-disease and ordered a closure of every fictional and non-fictional activity in the city of seven islands for as long as he wished. Anyone who would not obey his orders would be quarantined along with other western-influenced fictional people, and be left to his/her fate.
As fate would have it, the right-wing localist party had a fictional split and one of the flamboyant leader’s fictional followers turned extra-flamboyant, and established another right-wing, ultra-localist political party. The newly emerged extra-flamboyant leader believed in opposing everything that the flamboyant leader suggested. So he opposed the ban on activity.
There had to be a counter-argument for the flamboyant leader’s ban on flying-pigs-wonder he thought the disease was. Mr extra-flamboyant therefore claimed that the Swine Flew was actually a sign of progress and the times to come, and that the villagers of the seven-island-city ought to participate in the disease whole-heartedly, (whole-bodiedly too). In fact, the extra-flamboyant leader went to the extent of demanding an 85% reservation for the native villagers of the city to be able to participate in the pigs-who-fly-disease and uttered a warning that anyone who would dare to take away his fundamental right on the progressive Swine Flew will have to face his wrath and said nothing about what he’d do to them. Speculation is, that he would make that rebel wear a tight mask covering his/her eyes, ears and finally, one of the two nostrils. He is also reported to urge to those villagers who wish to express support to regressive movement to put up nude pictures on their facebook profiles, while those who support the participation in progress are asked to put up profile pictures of them wearing masks.
The villagers of the city are nonetheless enjoying the duel between the flamboyant leader and the extra-flamboyant leader, while pretending to take sides in the presence of the supporters of either leader. Some villagers are now planning to launch a third fringe to oppose both, the flamboyant leader and extra-flamboyant leader but are yet undecided on the agenda of opposition. Sources from within the third fringe indicate that they estimate it would take a few years to come up with a fictional opposition agenda. Until then, the extra-flamboyant leader welcomes support for progressive pigs-who-fly-disease, while the flamboyant leader continues to issue successive bans on the western influenza.
And that, fellow idle-beings, is enough of a dose of bullshit for the day.
